Do you ever find yourself complaining about toxic people in your life?

Do you notice yourself saying things like:

  • “They” drain my energy
  • “They” are so toxic
  • “They” should stop doing x
  • “They” are always so negative
  • “They” should support me more
  • What “they” need to do is x

I believe the people in our lives are a mirror.

What is their behaviour showing you about you?

It can be easy to notice where others “should” make changes, or what they are or are not doing or to label them as “toxic”. It’s also quite disempowering, as you can’t control the behaviour of others. You can only control your own behaviour.

I believe that every person and relationship into your life has been attracted to you, and either reflects something back to you, or has been invited in by your soul to help you learn specific lessons (I am not including abusive relationships in this, remove yourself from that situation asap, and dig deep to find the lessons afterwards.)

If you want to decrease the number of “toxic” people around you, focus on increasing your own vibration, and changing your own thoughts and behaviours.

Often when this happens, any “toxic” people around you seem to magically change behaviours, fall away, or just don’t bother you so much.

You don’t need to “dump people” for this to happen. If your vibrations don’t match anymore, it will often just happen by itself.

I have seen it happen SO many times with my Kinesiology clients. They change, and then so many of their relationships do too.

Remember, noone can actually drain your energy, unless you let them.

YOU are responsible for your energy.

The first place to look when you’re not happy with the way others are treating you is at yourself.

How are YOU treating you? It might be that others are reflecting that back to you.

You certainly don’t need to put up with someone else’s poor behaviour, and someone else’s behaviour is definitely not your responsibility.

Sometimes life might place certain difficult personalities in your path and an opportunity arises to assert yourself, remove yourself, or to learn to feel good about yourself irrespective of the behaviour of another.

It can be interesting to think about this in the context of matching energy.

I’ve written about the fact that your emotions have a vibration.

Leonie Dawson has written about this as well. She’s a huge fan of the Voice and Ricky Martin and shared a quote from his book:

For me, one of the greatest failures of human beings is that we always search for a way to define people, to categorize them and give them a label. And within these categories, there are of course, “good” and “bad”.

To not categorize people as either positive or negative when we call them “good” or “bad”, I instead try to visualise them as frequencies that are either compatible or incompatible with mine.

I have simply decided to grab on to the compatible ones, those that help me and nourish my spirit, and I try not to focus on whatever steals my peace or decelerates the growth of my soul.

Such an empowering way to look at the energies of people around us, and our own.

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If you're an entrepreneur and would love to learn how to align your energy and attract more clients, check out Kerry's group program: Align + Attract

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