If you haven’t yet heard the news, I’m having a baby next February. Much change to come! Before I conceived, I received three beautiful baby blessings.
These baby blessings were magical to receive and I felt they were to be shared. I think there could be magic in them for you too. They may help you reconnect to your own ability to see and feel magic.
I thought hard about whether or not to publicly write about some of the magical events that have so far surrounded the arrival of this little soul (womb side). Maybe my words will trigger. Maybe you’re in a phase of challenge, and magic is just too hard to hear about. Maybe you’re trying to conceive yourself, and it feels unfair that in the tale I am to tell, not only do I conceive easily, but I get bloody magic as well.
Once, it may well have triggered me too.
I too have had my seasons of challenge.
Maybe I’m writing this for me back then. Maybe she needed to know that once I finally faced the truth of the reality I was in, surrendered and let go, and did the epic levels of deep healing, recognising and accepting of myself that were required, one day my life would look very different to what I had imagined, but so much better than I dreamed possible.
Maybe it’s ok to speak my own truth, even when it’s joyful.
And it goes without saying, it’s ok for your to speak your truth too.
Take what you need.
Here is my first story of magic.
I am on the couch. A young single Mum on TV is talking about her love for her child, and all the sacrifices she’s made. As I watch, I saw how under-prepared she must have felt. Yet she spoke of thriving, of being inspired to create a better life for her and her child.
“With all the resources I have, and support that surrounds me, why am I unsure if I have what it takes?” I wondered.
“Why do I doubt if I can even do it?”
I start to cry, just a little. No doubt mostly because I felt hormonal, my cycle just starting the previous day after our first month trying to conceive.
I could tell the emotion I was feeling an echo of an earlier time in my life when I had tried to conceive on and off for several years. This was not successful, which was very fortunate in light of very serious issues finally exposed, which catalysed the end of that relationship. However, I had at many times optimistically and naively thought there would be some kind of happy ending, a belief that keeps many a person in a relationship with someone who has signs of narcissistic personality disorder far longer than is healthy (something I only learnt about afterwards).
There was still a little old grief sitting in my body, now reactivated. (As an aside, the desire to have a child ended with the relationship. The relief to be free was immense, and I knew I would never put any kind of goal before my own wellbeing ever again.) The desire had been all mixed up with a reality that didn’t exist, at that time, and only arrived in a genuine, detached form this year when the circumstances were actually right.
The doubt was connected to the past too. Then, it had been a very clear warning sign. It not relevant to the present moment. It was time to let it go.
I realise there are three past lifetimes relevant to this conception process and I see each one in turn.
I first assumed they would show me blocks or challenges preventing conception.
But they did not.
Instead, the lifetimes I was shown each had a gift to share. A blessing.
The lifetimes felt quite archetypical. They were snapshots and showed aspects of cultural traditions that were being gifted to me. It feels like they are stories others could receive blessings from as well.
Allow yourself to receive the blessings on offer.
Baby blessings // One // Indigenous Australia
I see myself as an Aboriginal woman in Central Australia.
“OMG. I have no job. I have no money. How can that ever work?!”
These are my first involuntary thoughts as I immediately project my own fears onto the situation. Of course I recognise the ridiculousness of the idea of having a job and money in ancient times in outback Australia. I realise I am being shown that life can exist outside of these parameters.
I see that in this lifetime, I have received a message from Great Spirit that I am going to have a baby. It is done.
I am shown this is like making an order for online shopping. You don’t check the mail each day and then get upset if the mail hasn’t arrived and worry it will never come. You know that it’s coming. If it doesn’t come, you will just contact the company and they’ll re-send it, or some such.
There’s no stress.
It’s coming. Be patient. Wait.
I see that my whole body is being painted with long lines and patterns. White.
The marks are so the baby Spirit knows where to come.
I am involuntarily drawing the marks on my body as this unfolds.
I am being initiated into Motherhood.
It is done.
Baby blessings // Two // Indian Wedding
Now I see myself as a bride in an Indian wedding, one of those weddings that goes for days or weeks. A flamboyant, noisy celebration of hundreds of people; whole villages and entire families and everyone you’ve ever met. A celebration of a kind I have not been part of in this lifetime.
My partner and I are not married and I see how I’m being provided the opportunity to receive all the good wishes that are bestowed upon a couple when they participate in a large scale celebration of their love.
I see how a couple in such a celebration receives incredible blessings from all the attendees and through the ceremony itself. The joy. The fun. The laughter. The colour and vibrancy. The music. The blessings for good fortune. The gifts of money. Gold coins raining down upon us as we dance. Heart-felt wishes for fertility.
There is so much happiness, so much support, so much abundance, so much love.
There is more than enough. Of everything.
We are blessed.
Baby blessings // Three // American Indian
I see I have been taken to a kind of Shamanic healer.
In this lifetime, it has been one year. I am married and I have not yet conceived (I do not immediately see a present-day significance to the one year).
The Shamanic healer tells me I have some bad energy in my womb.
I feel this too and wonder what it is.
I am told it is the Spirits of many babies who have tried to come into my life in this lifetime. This is why I have felt numerous times that I would conceive, have been told the same by countless others, and have then been confused when it simply hasn’t happened. These baby Spirits are trapped in my womb. Stuck, and unable to move on.
Blocking my own womb energy, and preventing the baby who is planned for us from coming in.
I send the baby Spirits off and ask that they find families who have longed for a baby and have waited and waited for them to arrive.
The Shamanic healer gives me some medicine to take to clear the energy.
My womb feels clearer. (More on this next time).
I am again painted. I think this is to finalise the clearing process. He doesn’t tell me everything. He has his own ways and it’s not for me to know.
My face is painted, my arms, and then finally, my womb, with shorter strokes. The substance is like tar; black. I find myself involuntarily painting my body again.
My hands then hold my womb area; top and bottom and then either side.
This is completing the healing, I gather.
“Next month,” he tells me.
He’s telling me I will conceive.
It is done.
Fade to black.
My partner arrives home in that moment and I tell him the stories of the blessings.
The Shamanic healer tells the truth.
The next month, I conceive.
Exactly one year from the date I first connected with my partner.