Am I good enough yet?
I’ve had a lot of conversations in and out of work lately that go like this:
I’m working on myself, I’m being positive, I’m doing everything right, I don’t understand how I don’t have what I want in my life right now?! How good do I have to be??
This often seems to happen for challenges that appear to be outside our control, and a really common one is wanting to meet a partner, but it can also be things like:
- Challenging health issues
- Trying to fall pregnant
- Money/debt problems
- Going through a business challenge or reduction in client bookings or money
- Ongoing issues at work
Even quite stuck issues like these do shift, by the way, sometimes just not in the timing we feel we’d might prefer, again not something we always have control over in life.
Alas personal development doesn’t act as an immunisation shot against the ups and downs of life. We don’t always get rewards, gold stars or bonus points for trying hard. Just because we do a lot of work to clear our blocks and understand ourselves, it doesn’t mean we won’t face challenges, that’s just life. Sometimes life can be really hard.
And all the personal development in the world doesn’t insure us against it.
What personal development DOES do, is provide us tools to help us navigate these times with a little more ease.
Are you taking action?
Action is essential. Before you do anything else, check in that you’re actually taking action. All the personal development in the world will not help you if it’s not coupled with appropriate actions in the direction of your goals. You can’t just think about it. For example, if you want to meet someone, are you regularly putting yourself in situations where you’re having fun and also able to meet people? If not, start there.
Sometimes, we need more tools.
Other times, we just need more fun, especially if our desire to achieve a certain goal has caused us to start questioning ourselves and feel Not Good Enough.
Occasionally we’re being called to be deeply honest with ourselves. Is the situation really stuck because something about it just isn’t right for me? Am I trying to force it? It can sometimes be hard to tell when we feel so stuck.
If you find yourself stuck on a particular issue, and nothing much seems to be changing, forget about trying to “fix” anything for a while and focus on doing things that will help you feel great in yourself.
- What would feel really fun and inspiring for me right now?
- Do I need a new hobby? What would I love to try?
- Do I want to learn something new? What might that be? Can I find a course on that?
- Would planning for a holiday feel inspiring? Where would I like to go and when?
- What events are happening in my local area? Keep an eye out.
- How can I nurture and deepen the relationships in my life?
Always bring it back to what would feel fun, and light. If learning French is something you’d like to do, but going to classes at the end of a busy day sounds heavy and hard, it might not be the right choice right now. Maybe going to a French movie would be best.
It might seem like you’re just distracting yourself, but what you’re actually doing is raising your vibration out of frustration (or in some cases fear). By shifting one thing in your life, other things will start to shift too. Plus, you’ll just feel happier. And it’s funny how you start to attract in more opportunities and new people when you’re happy. Which can only be a good thing.