Learning to deal with challenging emotions is definitely a process
Most of the time, my Kinesiology clients come to see me because the process has broken down somewhere. They feel stuck, anxious, stressed or unhappy and disconnected from who they really are and their true path.
In Kinesiology sessions, we work on identifying and addressing the different emotions we feel. Kinesiology sessions give us a way to process and clear stuck emotions energetically.
Acknowledging how you really feel is key
I simply don’t believe it is worthwhile trying to deny or ignore your feelings. Suppression or numbing of feelings over time is one of the big reasons my clients end up seeing me. Easier in the short-term, ineffective long-term for a whole range of reasons.
I understand that frameworks and tools can be helpful as you’re trying to make change, especially for those times you are deep in The Hard – going through grief or real unhappiness about something in your life that mightn’t be quickly and easily resolved, or those times you might feel that life just isn’t panning out for you like you’d hoped.
Russ Harris’ work with ACT is also really useful
ACT stands for acceptance and commitment therapy and you can read more about it on his website: Act Mindfully, or in his book The Happiness Trap.
The process is quite simple (which is not to say it’s easy.)
There are three steps:
1 – Acknowledge and accept your feelings.
So you might just sit quietly, and instead of judging or denying how you feel, just name the various feelings and sensations you notice in your body right now.
2 – Commit to your values.
Russ talks a lot about values and I have found being clear on my values and my desired feelings increasingly helpful. This step helps you remember what is important to you.
Spend some time getting clear on your own values and how these are reflected in your life.
3 – Take action in line with your values.
This a very important step. The key is not to “push through” how you feel, but to recognise and acknowledge it first, and then commit to action which may not necessarily be related to the emotions you’re feeling, but will ultimately have a positive benefit to yourself and/or others. An action that reflects one or more values which are important to you.
So, you might have noticed that you feel sad and unhappy. Next, think about your values and how you might take a positive action that is reflective of your values.
For example – if one of your values is health, you might decide to go for a walk, do a dance class or make yourself a green smoothie. If one of your values is connection, you might decide to call or write a lovely note to your niece, nephew or grandparent. If one of your values is love, you might bake a lasagne for a friend who has a new baby, or make your partner their favourite meal. If one of your values is beauty, you might go and buy yourself a bunch of flowers or book a night out at the ballet or theatre.
It doesn’t necessarily matter what the action is.
What matters is that it is in line with, and brings you closer to YOUR values.
What I like in this process, is that it moves us beyond simply noticing our feelings (which can be overwhelming when we’re going through a difficult time) and into action.
Sometimes we might choose actions that numb us, and there is no judgement if we do.
However taking actions that are aligned with our values are more likely to make us feel better in the longer term.