Nice words, huh.
Courage.
What does it actually mean to have courage? For me, courage is that ability to back yourself whatever the circumstances. To feel vulnerable and yet keep showing up. Checking in with yourself (I’m so not a fan of pushing through) but continuing to take steps forwards and trusting yourself, even when you’re afraid.
Like most things, it’s not until we’re actually tested that we find out whether we’re courageous in theory, or whether it’s something that we’re able to put into practice when things are tough and we feel uncertain.
There is a big difference between knowing something and actually doing it.
There are so many things we say we “know”.
For example, we might say we know:
- how to eat properly
- we “should” accept ourselves
- regular exercise/yoga/meditation helps us
- our positive or negative thoughts impact on our outcomes
- putting ourselves first is a high priority
- that we need to take responsibility for changing our lives
Knowing it in theory? Not enough.
We might attend a workshop, read a book, listen to a talk or recording, hear some advice and our immediate reaction to certain information is: Oh yes, I know that.
Only, if we’re not doing it?
We don’t actually know it.
We might be aware of it, certainly.
But if we actually knew it? We’d be doing it.
Some theory about … knowing things in theory.
As I was thinking about this, I found this graphic which illustrates the knowing – doing gap. Kind of helpful I think, what about you?
I found it on this change management site and you can read a whole bunch of theory on it there if you’re interested.
Where are you at?
Think of something specific that you “know” but don’t yet necessarily “do”.
Where are you really at, on this continuum?
- Are you simply aware of it as a theory or concept?
- Are you actively interested in it and thinking, learning and talking about it?
- Are you at the trialling/experimenting phase?
- Or have you actually adopted it?
What are you going to do with this?
You have a choice: you can accept this as a somewhat interesting piece of – ahem – theory, or you can action it in a way that is meaningful, to you.
There is no judgement either way of course, it’s just being aware of the choices we have.
Taking responsibility for taking the steps to actually action these awarenesses and live them can be an act of courage.
If you feel to, why not choose a piece of insight you understand in theory: just one, as a start.
Accepting yourself, as an example.
You might ask yourself some questions.
- What do I need to do to actually make this true in my life?
- What evidence will I have that this is moving beyond a theory and becoming true for me?
- What is the next step?
And now, I get honest with me.
Let me give you a specific, simple example from my personal experience since I’ve just busted myself right now: I know if I eat healthy nutritious food and take regular breaks when I’m working I will stay healthier and function better. Logical, right?
And yet, when I’m in the middle of a project, particularly if I’m writing, as I am today, time slips past and I forget to eat or break at all.
Right now as I’m writing this, it’s 2pm and I’ve been writing various pieces for the past five hours without stopping at all. I enjoy writing and love that feeling of flow so I somehow justify working through to myself. It’s not just today, lately I’ve been doing this once or twice a week when I work from home getting the Self Alignment Kit. Fair enough on one hand but – I’m forgetting my key priorities.
So I don’t really know that I need to break and eat nutritious food, it’s just a nice idea at this point, something I’m interested in, at best something I’m trialling – since I do eat perfectly well on days I work with clients.
To action this – I need to start actually committing to taking a lunch break – even when I’m immersed in writing.
But I don’t want this just to be an action I might take in the future, I need to take the next steps now.
I actually had to make myself stop writing this and go and eat my lunch and have a break away from my computer, and then come back and finish this last bit and then go through and edit. It was quite difficult to resist my desire to just finish writing first.
Jeepers!
Next time, I’ll find it easier. And then, soon, if I stick with it, maybe this will become something I do actually know.
What about you, any insights to share?
Thanks to Joe from the Coaching Institute for the reminder about knowing it vs doing it.
Ha! Yes.
Once again I’m in the situation where my contract job will be coming to an end very soon. I currently don’t have another job to go to.
I keep telling myself that I trust the universe to provide for me. But that doesn’t seem to stop the panic that lurks in my guts when I think about my current situation. Bah!
Still learning, oh yes…
Svasti recently posted..Feedback, grace and de-snarking
Yes, it’s not easy, is it.
*understatement*
When you get to it, try working on the job stuff using the alignment kit – see how that goes for you. The alignment process definitely helps with panic.
Wishing you ease with the whole job change process xx
Loved this post Kerry!
xxx
On the other hand, the fact that you were so engaged in your writing means one thing – you are on the total right track! To be so immersed in your work, not noticing the time, or hunger – that’s demonstrating that you are doing exactly what you should be doing (making your passion your work). Of course, you do need to have your snack breaks though
Thank you lovely Jess! Yes you’re right, it’s great to feel so engaged in what you’re doing.
In balance, of course xx